


What Are You So Afraid Of?

by Skulls_surround_suns



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Anger, Get Together, I got it off of a prompt, Kissing, M/M, One Shot, and the woods, i honestly dont remember, i think, just...kissing, pre humdrum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-17 14:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8146774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skulls_surround_suns/pseuds/Skulls_surround_suns
Summary: Simon is confronted by Baz in the Wavering Wood and some surprising developments take place.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: My first Carry On fic! Just a simple story I copied off of a prompt. Enjoy!
> 
> If you recognise it, it's not mine.

"You're afraid." He insisted. Simon struggled against the tree he had been pushed against. "I can see it in your eyes. The panic. What are you so afraid of?" Baz leered.

Simon shivered against the tree. It was night, which meant they were definitely locked out of Watford until morning and they were in the Wavering Wood. Simon had followed Baz out like many nights before, but this time Baz had hidden behind a tree and ambushed Simon. Well actually maybe he didn't ambush him since Simon knew Baz was back here. Maybe Simon _wanted_ Baz to catch him.

Simon shivered again. _What a disturbing thought._

"Tell me, Snow. If you following me then why are you so scared now that you have caught up to me? What are you so scared of?" He repeated.

 _Scared of being in love with you,_ Simon thought. _Scared that I already am._ He wouldn't say that, though. He would never say that, not even if Baz threatened him with everything he had.

Simon clenched his fists against the tree. The bark was digging into his back uncomfortably. He grit his teeth.

"Is it," Baz breathed, "that you're scared of _me?"_ He sneered. His eyes sparkled maliciously. "Are you scared that I'm going to turn into a vampire on you. That's what you tell everyone isn't it, Snow? That I'm a scary _vampire_ and I am so _evil_. God, you're a fucking tragedy, Snow." Baz said harshly. For a second Simon almost thought he sounded sad or vulnerable. _That's ridiculous. I'm the one being pushed against the tree._

"I could never be scared of you, _Baz."_ Simon spat his name. Baz narrowed his eyes and pressed closer to Simon. Simon imagined him leaning closer, closer until their lips met and- no. _I can't think like that. Baz is the enemy, no matter how bloody attractive he is._

Baz leaned in so close that Simon could feel his breath fan against his cheeks. He pressed his wand into Simon's throat.

"Not scared, huh? Not even when your worst enemy," Baz spat out those words bitterly, " Has their wand pressed to your neck?"

Simon stood his ground (not like he could have moved- Baz was _really_ strong) and hardened his gaze. He would not crumble, even though Baz's lips were so close to his own and hand was on his chest and is grey eyes staring into his own blue ones.

Baz shoved him away and laughed without humour.

"Of course not," He said harshly. "Because you're the Chosen one. The mage's heir." Baz mock bowed. "Maybe I should be the one that is scared. Maybe I should be the one pressed up against a tree. Isn't that the chosen one's job? To take care of evil?"

Simon growled. Baz just laughed at him. Baz attempted to walk away from Simon, but Simon found himself reaching forward and grabbing Baz's arm. Baz spun around in surprise and Simon dropped his arm.

"Oh, does the chosen one want me to stay?" Baz taunted. He ran a hand through his silky black hair, moving it out of his face. It had fallen forward, no longer gelled back. Simon thought it looked better that way. "Are you afraid of being alone in the dark?"

Simon scowled. How he could ever like a git like Baz was beyond him, yet here he was. Baz crossed his arms in front of his chest as he stood waiting for Simon's answer. _At least he's waiting. That means he's curious._

 _But what do I say,_ Simon thought. _What if I told the truth. What if I just said 'Baz, I am in love with you."_ Simon internally laughed. _What a daft notion._

Suddenly Simon realized something. He may have been in love with Baz, but he still thought he was a monster. He still thought he was evil. But Baz was just a boy influence by his surroundings and by the people in his life. He wasn't evil. He wasn't a monster. He was just a boy. How disconcerting it must be to have people think you are evil when you are just trying to belong in your own family.

"I don't think you're evil." Simon said. Baz raised an eyebrow and snorted.

"And you were just following me because...what? You like how I look from behind?" Baz leered.

 _Yes,_ Simon thought, beside himself.

"I did think you were evil. But I don't anymore." He said. He hoped he sounded confident and not at all the nervousness that he was feeling.

"And what convinced you of that, Snow? Was it when I shoved you against a tree? Or maybe when I threatened you with a wand to the throat?"

"It was when you didn't follow through. If you were really evil then you would have done it." Simon insisted.

"I only would have done it if I was completely daft. The whole world of mages knows about our rivalry; I'd be the first person they arrest."

"You're not evil." Simon insisted again. "I don't care what you say, but you are not evil. Only a person who becomes evil on their own accord and without the influence of others is truly evil." Simon said. Baz raised both of his eyebrows at that. He seemed about as surprised as Simon was that he had gotten that whole sentence out.

Baz stepped closer to Simon, edging him closer to the tree where he had previously been pressed up against.

"If you're not scared of me...and you don't think I'm evil...then what were you afraid of?" Baz questioned, his voice no longer harsh- instead a breathy whisper. Simon swallowed and watched as Baz's eyes followed the movement of his Adam's apple and then traveled up to linger on his lips for a second before returning to his eyes. For the first time that night Simon thought that maybe, just maybe, his feelings were returned.

"I-I'm afraid of...I'm afraid of…" Simon stuttered. Baz leaned in closer, his gaze intense. Simon no longer felt the chill of the night air, instead he was filled with heat, like the flames Baz was so fond of. "I'm afraid of h-how much I-I...how much I want you." Simon whispered. His gaze fell to Baz's lips for a second. His full lips that were stuck in what seemed like a permanent pout. Simon looked up towards Baz's eyes, only to find his eyes lowered to Simon's lips.

"I-Is that so?" Baz said. Simon didn't think he had ever heard Baz stutter before.

Instead of answering, Simon leaned in to close the distance.

Kissing Baz was like fire. He couldn't tell if it warmed or burned. When would he reach melting point? Simon decided to let it blaze, consequences be damned.

Baz pressed Simon against the tree again, _that ruddy tree,_ and placed one hand on his back, pulling him closer and one hand in his hair, pulling tightly. It hurt a little bit, but in a _good_ way. Simon wondered if that made him crazy. _How could you like hurt?_

Simon's eyes were open, and he was looking at Baz's closed ones. He had never realized how long Baz's eyelashes were, not even when he used to watch him sleep in fifth year. Then again, he had never seen them this close before. Baz nipped at Simon's lip and Simon realized that although he had started the kiss, he didn't seem to be participating. He closed his eyes.

Baz's lips were soft and firm, which didn't really make sense, but neither did Baz. They forced Simon's lips open and Simon complied. He figured he would probably do anything for Baz right now.

Simon tried to mimic Baz. He lightly bit Baz's bottom lip and ran a hand through his hair. It really was as soft as Simon had thought it would be. Baz responded by growling and pressing him harder against the tree.

Simon didn't have very much experience with kisses, besides the few obligatory pecks he shared with Agatha, but he never knew kisses could be like _this._ He never knew kisses could be hot, could make him want more, more, more. He never knew that every time Baz touched him it would light his skin aflame (it was always fire with Baz). That when Baz pulled Simon tightly against his body Simon would no longer be able to step away. Or want to.

As soon as he thought that Baz broke away. He was panting and there was an astonishing amount of pink on his usually pale face. Simon lips tried to follow Baz back, but he stepped away. Baz ran a hand through his now messy hair.

Both of them were panting hard and Simon struggled to straighten out his shirt. Simon wondered why Baz had broken away, besides needing to catch his breath, but then he realized that his magic had melted all of the snow on the ground around them in a perfect circle. He could smell the familiar smokey scent that usually accompanied him when he was about to go off. Baz must've freaked out and thought Simon was mad at him. How he could think that with Simon's hands twisted in his hair and up his shirt was a wonder.

Simon stepped toward Baz and frowned when Baz took a step back.

"I'm not going to go off." Simon said.

"How could you know that?" Baz sounded nervous. Simon thought he had a reason to be, what with everything that had happened. Simon was nervous too, but probably for a different reason.

"I just know. I go off when I'm angry. Or when I'm scared. I'm not feeling angry or scared right now." Simon said. Baz stopped at the edge of the circle and let Simon approach him. Simon took a step closer.

"Then...what are you feeling." Baz sounded soft and tentative for the first time Simon had ever heard.

"I'm feeling...I'm feeling that I want to do that again." Simon was close to Baz now, close enough to see him gulp and to see the blush spreading to his neck. Simon didn't know vampires were able to blush this much.

"I think," He said, "That I want that too."

Simon grinned a big dopey smile.

"Oh, take that off. I don't need ny more of your charm rubbing off onto me." Baz snarled, but Simon could tell it held no hostility.

Simon had a sudden alarming thought. He grabbed Baz's arm and held it tight, his heart squeezing uncomfortable when Baz almost jerked out of his grasp. _Old habits die hard, I guess._

"Baz, what does this mean?" Simon asked. "I mean, after this, when we get back, we're not going to go back to the way we were before, right?"

Simon saw Baz's defences go up and his stomach climbed up to his throat. How could he be so stupid, of course Baz didn't want to date him. Of course he just wanted to go back to being enemies. This was just a one time thing.

"That depends, Snow. What do you want." Baz said, his voice steely hard. Simon winced at his last name.

"You called me Simon before." He said.

"No I didn't."

"Did too." Simon said, sounding like a first year.

"Stop that!" Baz sneered. "What do you want, Snow?"

Simon was reminded of the beginning of the night. _What are you so afraid of?_ What did he want? Well, he wanted the war with the Old Families to be over. And he wanted the Humdrum to disappear. And he didn't want to be enemies with Baz anymore. He wanted...he wanted…..

"I Don't want to be enemies." Simon said. Baz raised his eyebrows.

"So...you want to be friends?" Baz asked.

"No, I-" Simon sped up when he saw Baz's face fall. "I want to be more."

Simon heard Baz inhale.

"You-you want..."

"I want you."

Baz seemed at a loss for words. All of his defenses crumbled and he reached out to Simon. Then he hesitated.

"The mage will be mad at you." He said.

"I don't care."

"We are supposed to be enemies."

"I wasn't supposed to like you either, but that happened."

"But, the I-"

"Do you like me?" Simon asked. Baz took a step back in surprise.

"I- what-Snow,"

"Do you like me?" Simon clenched his fists. It was one thing to kiss, to return a kiss. That could be blamed on teenage hormones. But Simon wanted more. He wanted to kiss Baz and hold his hand. He wanted to tell him what a bloody wanker he was, but mean it in the most affectionate way.

"I- yes. I do. I have."Baz exhaled. "Merlin, Snow-Simon, I like you so much."

Baz looked so defeated that Simon stepped forward and took his hands. He touched his forehead to Baz's forehead, both of their skin cold from the night air, but Simon felt anything but.

"I'm glad. Aleister Crowley…" Simon said, smiling and leaning in.

"...I'm living a charmed life." Baz finished and closed the distance.


End file.
